Successful and meaningful life
There are many successful people in the world — though not as many as those who are unsuccessful :D. A successful politician, a successful writer, a successful artist, a successful CEO, et cetera et cetera. Most of these people are labeled successful because either they have become famous for what they do or who they are, they have become super rich, they work is highly recognized, and they have reached highly acclaimed status in their professions — in either international, regional, national, or sub-national level. Usually we don’t really asses whether they are happy or not and whether they think their lives are meaningful or not. Indeed, it’s difficult anyway to asses such intangible aspects.
Side stories tell us that those who are successful in career usually have sacrificed their personal lives a lot. Some of them have no time for themselves, let alone for friends (not business friends) and family. Many of them are burnt by stress caused by hectic — super-fast track — lives. They sleep less than 5-6 hours. They don’t have much time for vacation. Ironically, as they become successful, they don’t work less, but work even more, sleep less, and definitely have less personal down times.
Do I want to be a successful person? Of course. But what does successful mean for me? More famous? More money? No. They are only side effects of being successful. And, no, I don’t want to have no time for my loved one(s), friends and other activities. I want to have time to give my ears for people and to respond some emails coming from my Indonesian fellows in addition to business emails. I also don’t want to be stressed out. I don’t want to have less than 8 hours a day sleep. I need to have my own time to blog, paint, sing, play music, watch, exercise, or just daydream!
I am a professor. A junior one. A tenure-track one who is demanded to teach well, do research well, publish productively, and get tenure! Those who are in academic know well how burdensome pursuing tenure can be. Yes, life as a scholar in the US can be as hectic as hell. Some even say professors don’t have life until they get tenure!
But I do think it’s wrong to trade my life with a success status. Being a successful scholar is more than just getting a dissertation done, getting a PhD degree with cum laude, publishing in topflight journals, being recognized internationally, and getting tenure. For me, being a successful scholar means to have a meaningful life while doing my best in being a scholar. I am not satisfied with an artificial happiness measured by money, status and fame. In fact, I don’t care about them. My life is only meaningful when an authentic happiness is embedded in it.
I am momentarily happy when I got my articles published in top journals. I am always ecstatic when receiving an invitation to speak in international conferences. I was so glad and relieved when my progress-to-tenure letter said glowing things about my work. But they are not enough. I just simply think life is bigger that that.
Why do you think I blog, sketch, sing, play music, cycle, sleep a lot, cook, make friends? Why do you think I always try to collaborate with non-profit organizations and join real-world activism? Why do you think I try to be active in some voluntary-based communities? Why do you think I post some silly stories of my life? Why do you think I take time to entertain my friends with my crazy jokes? Why do you think I do what I do? Just because I have too much time in hand?
Because a meaningful life is more than succeeding the career. Because an authentic happiness is not printed in position, status, luxurious house, cars, and fame.
Tomorrow’s Professor today posted a list of dimensions needed in crafting a meaningful life, as follows:
* A range of passions rather than an unbalanced obsession with work
* Attention to personal as well as professional development
* Intimate and mutually-supportive relationships
* Dedication to making scholarly and practical contributions to the world
* The quest for a personal spirituality that includes compassion and curiosity
* Laughter and playfulness
And I say AMEN to all of those.
Are you finding ways to create a meaningful life?
p.s. of course i’ll not be upset if you interpret my rambling above only as a justification for my attitude in life — enjoying life to the max. in any case, i thought i provide a valid reason….. no?
13 Comments so far
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follow your bliss!
mer: yes, i do!
By Rani on 01.12.08 12:41 am
Words of wisdom.
I don’t know what to admire most;what you said or how you said it.
It will not be easy to keep your course, I guess. But, from the bottom of my heart, I wish you luck.
mer: many thanks, Colson. yes, i realize it’ll not be easy. i just hope 5-10 years from now i can say the same thing. and i know well that supports from friends who share the same perspective in life — like you — will always help.
By colson on 01.12.08 1:59 am
Although meaningful life differs to each individuals, I do admire the fact that you’ve achieved so much. Even better, you’re silly
mer: many thanks Diny. viva silliness!
By Diny on 01.12.08 8:17 am
Blessed are you……………………………
you have the pure in your heart………
nemo: i just follow my conscience. be blessed, my friend, and thank you for your support all these years
By nemo on 01.12.08 9:58 am
Most people engage in a variety of activities and live a meaningful life. Their lives are meaningful, because they mean something to at least one other person, either directly or indirectly (for example, through your scientific work).
Those who became successful in one thing, to my opinion, put in just a bit more effort than the others. They provided others with above-average meaning in that area. However, this goes at the cost of other types of meaning provision. A day only counts 24 hours, after all.
Just happens to be that some people choose to be an outstanding academic, others choose to flourish in caring for a community, etc. There is no way to say that one choice is morally superior, unless if people choose to be successful in criminal activities, for example.
That being said, I hope to live exactly the life you sketched and not to be outstandingly successful, as a consequence.
mer: agree with all you said. i though referred to personal perception of our own life. i knew and read about many successful people who have no personal happiness, though their lives certainly are meaningful to their peers, employees, children, etc. my naive mind wants to believe that someone can be outstandingly successful (according to others) but also enjoy her/his life to the max. perhaps i am wrong, but i’d like to give it a try. from the bottom of my heart, i wish you good luck in living your life meaningfully and successfully. many thanks for taking time to comment on my blog.
By Gerwin on 01.12.08 10:16 am
Gosh, how funny to see that we share the same view on these. Once people saw me as successful since they consider me as what you wrote in par.1. Hence, such success didn’t make me happy at all as I was already thinking like your pars.5 and 6. I then chose to live a meaningful life. Although friends and families say I look much happier now than before, they cannot stop wonder why I chose to trade successful with meaningful. Like what you wrote, it’s difficult to measure such intangible aspect.
mer: great! I am fascinated to see who you are and what you are doing. I do think you’re having meaningful life and sharing that to people around you. keep it that way, San
By santi d on 01.12.08 7:56 pm
They sleep less than 5-6 hours….
Kadang nyaris tak tidur, atau rata-rata kurang dari 3 jam. Kesuksesan berarti juga kurangnya waktu berharga untuk berkumpul dengan keluarga…tapi kesuksesan yang dikelola dan dipersiapkan dengan baik, membuat keluarga mandiri, anak-anak tetap bisa menikmati kehidupannya…dan mereka bangga atas pencapaian yang diperoleh ortunya.
mer: setuju, kesuksesan yang dikelola dan dipersiapkan dengan baik seharusnya tidak usah dibayar dengan penderitaan diri sendiri dan/atau keluarga.
By edratna on 01.14.08 6:09 am
Success should be translated as knowing ourselves, our passion, and being happy to be what we are! You’ve got the talent…keep it grow!
mer: fully agree with your ‘translation’! let’s be happy to be what we are!
By Retty on 01.17.08 6:30 am
Sleep a lot…you do sleep a lot? how really?? How many hours? more than 8 kah? I thought I was the one who did it in this super-dynamic world
But how can I not proud of it? hehe..berharap dapat pembelaan dari kebiasaan sinting ini :p Cause society doesn’t value ppl who sleep a lot…esp. girls :p
mer: who cares? i value you for sleeping a lot… hahaha. i sleep around 60 hours/week…. or more, haha.
By sisca on 01.23.08 8:55 am
great post! thanks
mer: thanks. glad u like it!
By peregrin on 01.23.08 11:53 am
the same old merlyn…:D
this is what i found in wikipedia re: success..
- a level of social status : by entitlement (inherited)or by merit?
- achievement of an objective/goal:did you set a deadline? or you let it freely move…
- the opposite of failure: do you meet your goals before the deadline?
but moreover…this might help..
“Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is than falling in love in a quite absolute..final way…”
mer: great! i am never changed and yes, same style, except that now i am convinced that pursuing my own dreams, having a meaningful life, being happy and successful can go along well together. i don’t care so much about the ’success’ label. most people think i am successful — supposedly based on at least one of your three possible definition, but why should i care even if people think otherwise? life is bigger than that… and moreover, yes, ‘falling in love’ is important…. i am in love with life itself
By hendrawan on 01.24.08 8:53 am
touche!
that’s what i mean, a meaningful life… will drive you to happiness. Isn’t it?!
mer: yup….. exactly!
By r on 01.28.08 3:11 am
[...] Ada satu catatan berharga yang Aku temukan dari tulisan Prof. Merlyna, begini : [...]
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