[Rambling] The (non)Elites, the (non)privileged
I love music. I enjoy listening to and playing it. But, most of times, I play instruments by ears, not by reading music-sheets. I can read notation (for singing, for playing a melody in instruments) but cannot play complex repertoires by sight-reading. I would rather listen to the tune and then play it.
Most of times, I only need to listen to the music once or twice to be able to play it. I can write down the notes by listening to the music. When I was small, I thought everybody in the world had ears like mine. Both of my brothers have ears like mine. All of my sisters, to a certain degree, can also do the similar thing. I also have something that’s called absolute hearing, which apparently is something rare. Though in my family, again, this is not really that special. My brothers, too, share the same ability.
Later in my life I found out that this is not normal. This is a gift. When we were kids, we all could sing in harmony without being taught. None of us sing off key. We were kinda mean, sometimes we took our gift as granted. We (un)secretly mocked others who sang off key, and we would wink to each other when hearing someone played music with not-so-great chord progression. Yes, we were snobbishly naughty sometimes… And yes, that was bad!
None of us got any musical training or drawing or any other lessons outside school. Growing up, we had no access to classical music, music school/lesson, piano, violin, and all of those markers of high culture life-style. Similar stories go for drawing and other “special” activities. No children drawing competition, no painting lesson, no water-color kit, no pastel chalks, no complete coloring pencils, no dancing lesson, no English lesson, no books (except school text books) nada. Not because our parents prevented us from accessing them. Having seven kids made it impossible for them to provide all of these things, financially and pragmatically. Besides, our parents were just simple parents. They never finished high-school. They never had a chance to explore their talents and abilities. Art, literature, language…. all was just of luxury.
So, me and my siblings had these raw talents un-sharpened, un-facilitated. Occasionally, in my early adult life, we joked that we would be famous if we ever had a chance to go to music school. But generally, we didn’t complain too much about this issue (well, we whined sometimes). We sang and made music together frequently. That’s perhaps a blessing of being in a big family… we did great things together without much intervention from adults. Together, seven of us, created a seventh heaven!
And sometime in our lives, while never really had any musical instruments by our own, we managed to get exposed to borrowed instruments. Some of us taught ourselves to make music by own own effort, our limited understanding, and our own style. Both of my brothers paved their ways to be excellent guitar players (they play other instruments well, too).
One of my siblings got luckier in term of music. He went to music school as soon as he finished high-school, gained some formal training to sharpen his skill, and got a Music degree too. He is now a great guitar player who also plays other instruments and composes music. He and my other brother are better than me in utilizing talents. They practiced hard and they became much much better musician than me!
As for me, unlike my two brothers, I had to admit, talent did destruct me to the max, knowing that I could learn fast, I became a lazy person who relied too much on talent. It was really bad. In fact, talent did little to my musical ability, really. What I had was not diligence, but an obsession, I swore to myself that one day I’d buy instruments for myself. Obsession isn’t always a good thing, but it finally did something good for me (after much destruction of course :P). I’m lucky that very very later in my life I changed my attitude and managed to fulfill my dream. After working for sometime now I own a violin, I bought an electric piano last year, and this year I bought my second guitar. I taught myself playing them. I feel blessed that I still have time (make time, to be precise) and energy to play them while being a full-time scholar. Of course, I am still very very amateurish and I know I’ll not reach a skill of those in professional level…. better late than never, though.
Why am I telling this story? The story shows how abilities/talents and access don’t always go along together. High-brow status of some ’stuff’ such as musical/art training hinder some talented people to develop their talents. Just like the pianist Jean-Francois Lefort said in the Avenue Montaigne (2007), “When music is presented in classical music concerts, then it keeps people from it.” When art is presented as part of high-culture lifestyle, it keeps it among the elites. The same goes with science, technology, education, etc. The non-privileged, most of time, are prevented from accessing them.
At the same time, I do think that someone who originally came from the non-privileged group, under certain circumstances, may be able to finally have the same access of those privileged ones. I don’t say that it’s easy or it’s 100% possible. But second chances always come. Perhaps they come late in life, but doesn’t really matter. Grab it, if you still want it. Oh well, if you no longer want it…. fine… but don’t whine! 
The other side of the story also implies that talent is not really a determinant factor. In fact, some friends of mine who might have less talent are much much better musicians than me. I admire them for their diligence, discipline, hard-working, and consistency. Things that are lacking from me.
I, honestly, don’t really have any clear purpose in writing this posting. It’s just among some of my weekend rambles. Perhaps because I am tired of those privileged people who never realize that they are privileged (and this is not only about music). Hey, this actually included myself. As I said earlier, I was one of them who didn’t feel that I was privileged. I wasted my talent and using ‘no access’ as my excuse to be lazy!!
At the same time, perhaps I am also tired of those people who keep dwelling on their being the poor or the unfortunate or the victim (while they actually have access to the Internet so they can ramble in their blogs about being poor) while there’re many other poorer and less fortunate people…. And perhaps I am also tired of people (who aren’t so unprivileged anymore) who keep blaming their lacking of chances in the past for what they cannot achieve now. And perhaps I’m also tired of those people who whine about their having no access to things…. while they actually have more access than the bottom 25% of the world.
Oh well, perhaps I am just cranky.
13 Comments so far
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Ceu Merlyn, gak ada bonus rekamannya ya?
mer: ngga ah…. kenapa? mau? hehe..
By Yugi on 10.28.08 12:07 am
This post reminds me of a movie about a child with musical prodigy, “August Rush”. He performs an adult level by around the age of 6 without formal lesson.
I myself, learned guitar through a formal lesson. I practiced guitar almost everyday during my teenagehood.. now, well.. i’m not whining in here, but I don’t think I have the talent.
And so I believe that musicians must’ve been born with musical aptitude. Practice only makes them perfect. Just like you, i guess…
mer: thanks for sharing your little story. i guess you don’t forget how to play guitar, right? actually musical ability (also other abilities) is resulted from both genetic element and environment — so without ‘natural talent’ one can also gain that ability… except that those with ‘natural ability’ is easier to adapt… though if never practice… nothing would happen, right?
let’s play guitar together, Ichi… would be fun!
By ichi on 10.28.08 3:39 am
My dad could play so many instruments by ear. Since he was a pastor it came in handy alot to do it all i a service. Of course the level of skill was moderately low but enough to play the chords and sing along. I have trouble with this way as for some reason i dont clearly hear chord progressions. So maybe it is a skill learned as child while being around music making folks. Thats how pa learned i believe. So there,s not a music gene, per se, i dont think. Rather an understanding of tone changes and how that transfers to expression on an instrument. I like ur songs but cant ger them off the immem lately
mer: actually, research suggests, perfect pitch/absolute hearing and relative hearing (such as what my family have) might be resulted from a combination of nurture and nature. genetic component may contribute too. my father didn’t grow up among music making folks at all, so he doesn’t play music, but his ears are great. just like me and my siblings, he can write down notes of any song/tune he hears. if he were raised in music making folks, then i bet his musical ability would be even more developed. AP (absolute pitch), according to the recent research, might as well be a Mendelian trait.
By joe on 10.28.08 2:59 pm
teh, inspiring banget euy tulisannya…sometimes we’re not grateful enough ya…I’ve been given the opportunity to take a classical piano lesson since I was a kid, but when I grew up, I’ve just thrown that away…and you know what? Now I feel very sad every time I see a piano standing near me, wishing I could make it play beautiful notes through my fingers…Btw, looking forward to your latest projects, as always!!!! =)
mer: glad you found this inspiring. hey, I bet you can still make beautiful tune….come on! wanna play together someday? my projects? any crazy ideas? hehehe…. thanks for your willingness to be tortured by my music, Astrid. that’s very nice of you
By astrid on 10.29.08 8:06 pm
Okay. Words of wisdom, even in your weekend ramblings. You set a tough standard. And, by the way: it’s a beautiful story and an optimistic message - almost American.
But apart from that, after reading your post, I suddenly realized I am a gigantic whiner. It is not about lack of opportunities or access to facilities ( on the contrary: poor, but hard working parents and the blessings of good old fashioned social democracy, paved the way for me), but for lack of any artistic talent.
I’m not endowed with a perfect pitch, sense of color and feeling for three-dimensional representation worth to mention or the eye of the master. So, I really envy you.
And I keep on whining. Woe is me.
mer: I envy you with all attitudes, analytical mind, and a privilege to be born in ‘a great moment’ of the history! (yes, people from your era in general are much more interesting people than me and my generation, hehehe)… OK, let me be honest with you. Actually I always regret myself of not starting early in doing things (such as music)… and of not being persistent and diligent enough (almost in everything!)…. so I needed to write this for myself, so I wouldn’t forget that I am the privileged…. and that you envy me….
Yes, please keep on whining…. I’ll keep on whining as well 
By colson on 10.31.08 7:19 am
It’s human nature, I can say mostly people tend to give less attention to the things when they get ‘em easily with the priviledge, sort of less appreciation..
But talking abt your hearing ability, and your adaptability to play musical instrument, it’s really impressive!
Have a nice weekend mba Mer..
mer: i agree…. it was pretty much like you said… when i was younger, i didn’t appreciate the talent, i just whined about my parents
By sakuralady on 10.31.08 6:37 pm
Ah, what a wonderful story! Yes, I do agree. We just need to reach what we want. If one door closes, another will open as long as we try. Thank your for sharing a tale of your gifted family!
mer: thanks, Santi. i still sometime wish i were a better kid/teenager (i bet you’re a better one!). i was too lazy and relied too much on my talent….. but anyway, i hope it’s not too late to learn.
By santi on 11.01.08 8:06 am
I think, you like yourself very much! Have you heard of “Brother of Sleep?” Real talented people don’t brag about their talents.
mer: on the contrary, i wish i were (and am) a better person. you obviously didn’t read this carefully, or didn’t read this posting until the end… or perhaps i didn’t write well enough and it’s misunderstood (i added a couple lines there to clarify)… i’m sorry i sounded that i brag, but it wasn’t the intention of this posting.
By brother of sleep on 11.02.08 3:40 pm
reading this reminds me of my post “count your blessing”..
hm..teteh, stop this rambling things. i may ramble because i am tired of reading ur rambling :p
mer: like you said… talent can be a curse. exactly! so, no-talent can actually be a blessing! ok. i’ll stop rambling…. but well, isn’t it 90% of the blogosphere is actually considered (various forms of) rambling? haha…
By M on 11.03.08 12:47 am
[...] my last posting I might sound like bragging, but, really, it wasn’t the point of my writing (therefore you [...]
By Mer’s Bites of Bytes » [Rambling] Something Given on 11.03.08 1:29 am
Another inspiring post mbak, even if you call it rambling. I will post something related with this
By qq on 11.04.08 9:38 pm
love this post, and somehow i found this one very personal…
By melly on 11.07.08 2:01 am
I believe with the writer when she said that abilities/talents and access don’t always go along together. Some people who have talent in music can’t get the chance to sharpen their talent by getting into musical school. In most parts of Indonesia street kids have the talent of playing music. They can play guitar and sometimes violin very well. But they are lacking of chance to sharpen their talent as they have shortfunds to cover the expensive course. I think goverment should have paid attention to these people by providing them a place to sharpen their talent. By doing this not only can we help the unfortunate people but also reduce the street kids which is generally destroy the beautiful scene of a big city like jakarta.
By CHRISTOPHER PANJAITAN on 11.10.08 2:12 am
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